Susan, Lithography and Screen Print, 2020

"INTERVIEWER:

How old were you when you first started to question your sexuality?

 

SUSAN:

First started to question my sexuality? I guess puberty. I guess just when you know boy craziness hit and I'm thinking like yeah just not a lot of interest there. I'm more interested in like playing sports and hanging out with my girlfriends. And, actually in high school is when I sort of had my first like girlfriend. But it was super super secret. Really like no one, no one knew. Even our closest friends. And still to this day no one knows. That was uh something I was sort of sworn to secrecy about. 

 

INTERVIEWER:

But with each other would use the word girlfriend? 

 

SUSAN:

Um…yeah no not even between us no. It was like purely I think physical. And it was like just I think exploring um like sexuality at that age like in high school. But no, it wasn't like …no I don't even think we called each other girlfriends. I don't think we were at that point. And I think I was still even, even in high school like this…this is just a phase. Or like this… it's not going to be forever because it can't be forever. Because I just can't. I grew up in a super Catholic family and that played a big role in every part of my life and um, I knew my parents would be so disappointed. And I just knew that I couldn't be, like, be into women. So, I just was like well I'll do this now and later, you know, it'll be another story."